Friday, February 28, 2014

Our Story

I was 19yrs old when we started dating, he had just turned 21 that May. Our first time hanging out together he took me four wheeling with his best friend, twin cousins and another friend. We had a blast! It was about a month later that he sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers to my job with a card asking me to be his girlfriend. That was  in June 2001 and little did I know that saying "Yes!" would lead me to our happily ever after.

We became engaged in February of 2003 and were married on what would have been my grandmother's birthday in April 2004.  Yes, we are rapidly approaching our 10th wedding anniversary! Where has time gone?!?

It was the summer of 2003 that I became very ill. I was experiencing severe abdominal pain and nausea the resulted in my boss driving me to the ER from work. The ER doctor ran several tests which all came back normal. They sent me home with pain medications and said to return if things changed. Two days later I was back in the ER where a CT scan was done and more test. The doctor who came in said they could not find anything wrong, all the test results were normal, but that the only other thing that could be causing the problem was endometriosis. That word alone immediately brought me to tears and I knew then that things were about to be very different.

It was 5 days later that I had my first laproscopy to see what was going on. The results came back that I indeed had endometriosis. The doctor removed as much as he could and he recommended that I after my recovery I start 6 months of an injection call Lupron to put my body into menopause to hopefully help aid in my fertility until we were ready to have kids.
Those 6 months were awful! The monthly shot was painful and the side effects hit me like a freight train. The night sweats, hot flashes and the mood swings were enough to make me crazy not to mention my fiance'.

After the 6 months were over, I started to feel normal again for a short time before the pain started again. The doctor recommended birth control to relieve the symptoms. I had no relief. So we did another 3 months of Lupron. The pain returned again. We tried another birth control with no relief so the doctor put me back on Lupron yet again for another 3 months. Yet again the pain returned. We were now newly married, we had moved out of state so my husband could take a new job and we were struggling as a young couple just starting out. The doctor recommended we start trying to have kids right away. He said he could not guarantee that I would be able to have kids and that time was against us. We agreed it was not the right time to start our family.

Fast forward a few months, we had just moved back to our hometown. We were getting settled in and we decide it was time to start our family. We tried for 6 months and it became very obvious that there was a problem. I decided to seek another opinion and so I saw another doctor. After looking over my medical history he agreed that it was best to do another laproscopy to see what was going on.

I remember that day very clearly. I woke up from surgery to see my husband and my mom sitting in the recovery room with me. They had clearly been crying and no one would look at me directly. They were both avoiding the obvious question I wanted an answer to. Let's wait for the doctor to come talk to you is all my mom kept saying. It was then that I knew that my greatest fear had become my reality. I was not going to be able to have a child. The doctor came in and confirmed what I had already figured out.

I wish I could say I was devastated, but after the last 2yrs of being poked and prodded I was actually relieved. I now knew that we could figure out our next step. It was a few days later that the reality set in and I remember laying in bed sobbing. I did the only thing I knew to do and that was pray. I prayed every night asking the Lord to help me thru this. I prayed he would help me understand why he had choose this for me. I prayed to help my husband thru this and even asked if I should let him go, not because I didn't love him, but because I did and I did not want him to ever resent me for not being able to give him a child. I prayed, asked and pleaded with my Heavenly Father to give me the opportunity to have just one child. I promised that if he blessed us with just one child and allowed me to have the experience of carrying a child that if I was still sick after that than I would do whatever I needed to do even if that meant having a hysterectomy.

It was February of 2006 and I was having problems with my lower back. I went to my chiropractor and it was his nurse who asked me if I could be pregnant. She asked me this with great hesitation because they knew our situation. I shrugged it off and said that would be wonderful. It was not like we were not trying, but Lord knows that it was not possible. She encouraged me to take a pregnancy test that night. They were sending me for an MRI in two days and I was going to have to test anyways. I laughed about it, but picked up a test on the way home. My husband and I laughed that we should take up stock in pregnancy test because of how many we had taken since we started trying for a baby.

After supper that night I took the test. I remember screaming for my husband to come look at the test because I could not believe my eyes. We were pregnant!!!!! We were pregnant with the help of nothing, no fertility drugs and without IVF which we had been encouraged to consider. It had been just 4 months since we were told we would never conceive naturally, but we were pregnant and I knew the Lord had answered my prayers.

On October 9th, 2006 at 9:45am we welcomed a bouncing baby boy into the world. He was the most precious 7lb 12oz little bundle of love I had ever held in my arms. We were in heaven.

That first year went by fast. We were preparing for our son's 1st birthday when I again felt that crippling pain in my abdomen out of the blue one day. I could not believe it was happening. I ended up in the ER yet again. This time they did an ultrasound, The technician kept look at this large mass on the screen. He left and came back with another technician all the while whispering to themselves. I finally spoke up and asked them to tell  me what that was on the screen. He assured me it was not cancer. The ER doctor walked in and explained that I had a very large ruptured cyst and was bleeding internally. I saw my OB a few days later. It was just a few days after our son's first birthday when we scheduled with my doctor to have a hysterectomy. I was only 25yrs old.

I am blessed to be married to an amazing man who did not hesitate to agree that this was our next step. I knew it was the Lord asking me to fulfill my promise to Him because he had answered our prayers. I have never looked back and we have never regretted our decision.

Growing up I always wanted a large family, 4 to 6 kids. My hubby on the other hand always teased me that I would be lucky if I got 2 kids out of him. Even now it amazes me that the Lord sent me this man because He knew what my path was already and He wanted me to be with a man that would travel this path with me and love me no matter what.

I never imagined my journey to motherhood would turn out the way it did, but I would go thru it all over again to have our son. He is amazing! To those of you out there struggling with infertility NEVER GIVE UP! Pray without ceasing. Most importantly, always remember that you are not alone. My prayers are with you.

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